Penis Envy

Every time we talk about Taboo topics in class, we always have a good laugh over gender and gender-related issues.

I happen to be a feminist. Well, not your hard-core Gabriella. I do believe in equal rights and opportunities for everyone but I also have to agree that there are some things that girls can't do or that guys can do better.

There was this story about a couple of girls in the University of the Philippines in Diliman. They were on their way home at around four or five thirty in the afternoon, which is the rush hour, and all the jeepneys were filled. Both of them hung on to the jeepney. A guy, of course, offered them his seat. They yelled expletives at the guy and called him a sexist.

Now I am not as extreme as these girls. I believe that we are the stronger sex just because we are weak. Men fall all over themselves just to do things for us like opening doors, carrying our stuff, etc. Why not use this to our advantage? I don't even have to struggle when opening the jam jar. I just hand it to my hubby. He goes through the hassles of changing the light bulb, declogging the drain, and lifting heavy objects.

I happen to love him, you know, and I don't believe I abuse him. We're even - I cook and do the laundry (but both of us clean the house and the yard, and we give the dog a bath), which are also pretty difficult chores.

I don't get all this hoopla over feminism and how we gripe about how difficult it is to be a woman. It's true, menstrual cramps are painful and having a baby is, by far, the most excruciating seven hours of my life.

Here's a wake up call: It's difficult being a guy, too. Our, ahem, packages are all inside us. For the guys, their packages are all a-hanging out between their legs. It's not a pretty good thing to be carrying around - all those nerves and two very sensitive testicles.

Imagine sitting inside public transport and someone telling you to scoot over and to sit properly. Shucks. Getting hit in this area is bad, bad, bad. Having them mishandled, too, is evil to its extremes.

Men, being the visual creatures that they are, get stimulated by a flash of skin. They get erections at very inappropriate times. It's like the guy down there has a mind of its own. Now, erections are not always a good thing, especially when your dick is not in the right position. Adjusting it to the correct position also takes a lot of skill.

I guess having a penis is as bad as having your period. Sometimes it's even worse because you only get your period once a month but you can get erections many times in a day. Penis envy is truly a myth.

Another thing I want to talk about is how we glorify mothers too much. I think it is well deserved but the celebration isn't as elaborate during Fathers' Day. Sure, we carry the little kid around for nine months and giving birth is like having a foot inside the grave.

But being Dad is difficult too. What keeps men up most nights is the idea that they will not be able to provide for their families.

Women go through extreme physical exertions during pregnancy and labor but men go through physical exertions once the kid is born. Games with mommy are usually tickling, soothing, and cuddling. Games with Daddy are wrestling, lifting, and grappling. Daddy also carries all the things during trips to the beach or camping. They're also expected to do the driving and everything that involves the use of sinew.

Being a woman is hard, that's true. However, we can whine about it. Men don't. They just don't. That's why I took the time to whine for them in my blog. When people talk about gender-related issues, all I want to say is that no one is really stronger or weaker, we just break even.