Missing

I miss Koy. He's having the time of his life at my parents' place. It was very difficult to send him away and it is still difficult. It is something that I do not want to examine too closely because it hurts too much. I want him with me but the best thing to do sometimes is not the easiest.

In the larger scheme of things, he is better off with my parents. Mama and Papa love him to bits and he gets all the attention that he deserves. He also gets to go to regular therapy sessions and my mother is always around to assist him with school. It is also more cost-efficient to have him there. Koy also gets to do a lot of activities that he can't do in the city (i.e. trips to the zoo and frequent swimming).

Mama told me that Koy now has regular sleeping habits and better eating habits, which pleased me to the extremes.

I miss the "MOMMY!" when I get home from work everyday, falling asleep with him beside me, the tickling sessions, how he smells after bathtime... everything, including his tantrums.

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I also miss Ivan. His shift is from 7:45PM-4:45AM. My class for the next two weeks is 6AM-2PM. Since school and the rainy season have started, travelling in the city has become a nightmare.

Spending a couple of hours everyday is not enough, especially when it is just to snuggle and to sleep. Mealtimes are also crazy. I get up in the middle of the night to cook. Having no household help is about to wear me out to nothing.

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If only I had all the time and money in the world, I would have Koy and Ivan around all the time. Plus an animal shelter and tons of shoes.